Why I CrossFit Reason No. 47: Hipsters and Cold Brew

By March 9, 2018 February 21st, 2019 No Comments

Did you know that we have cold brew iced coffee from French Truck on tap (that’s right, in a keg and on tap) at CrossFit Roux?

Well, it’s true. And no, I am not trying to sell you anything, but we do. And it is wonderful. It turns out that in addition to fitness, we seriously value good coffee. Anyway, now might be a good time to grab a cup of joe because it’s time to sit back and relax. I have a story to tell you.

Picture it, a beautiful New Orleans morning. The morning of Saturday, February 24th to be exact and it was the first weekend of the 2018 CrossFit Open. We enjoy doing it big on Saturdays for the Open and we also enjoy coffee, so we wanted to make sure we had a fresh keg of cold brew to enjoy while we got our fitness on. While the wonderful folks at French Truck usually deliver the cold brew, this was a rush so I went in to grab it that morning before I made my way over to the gym.

I pulled up to the French Truck on Magazine around 8:12 that morning and even though they had only been open for 12 minutes, I already had to park around the corner which is to be expected when there is quality coffee on the line. I went on in and got in line. Within a few minutes I was at the front and the girls at the counter immediately knew what I needed and grabbed the keg out of the back.

Let’s pause and talk details for a second. This is a 5 gallon keg full of liquid. This is not absurdly heavy but it does have some weight to it and it is 2 feet a few inches tall with only one handle at the top. All of that is to say that my 5’3” self has to hold it from the top and the bottom and it is a bit awkward with my not super long arms. Because while CrossFit has done a lot to improve my strength, it will never help me grow wingspan.

So here I am, arms full of coffee, in a keg so full that the cold brew concentrate is dripping down my leg and directly into my white converse. No big deal, ‘cause I got the goods. I turn to exit the cafe and head back to my car but there is a couple in the way, a hipster couple to be exact. I don’t say this to insult people, but when I say that, you probably get a very accurate mental image of what is standing between me and my morning coffee.

There they stand, in front of the doorway, sipping their green juices. I, too, love a green juice, but the guy is holding it with two hands and sucking this baby down like it is his life force. And who am I to say it isn’t? I don’t know how many PBR’s he had the night before and am definitely not going to pass judgement on that, but he is SERIOUS about this juice. So incredibly serious that I have to take the time to ask him to get out of the way.

You read that correctly, I had to ask him to move while my hands are full and my left leg is covered in coffee. So he does just that, he moves. Without looking up, without helping open the door, and definitely without missing a sip.

And before you ask, no. I really do think it should have been expected that he help with the door. Not because I am a woman and I need this man’s help, but because it’s what nice, decent people do. If he opened the door to come in, I do believe he is fully capable of opening it to help a person exit as well.

So I do what needs to be done. I do what any

functionally fit woman who doesn’t need a man does…



I kicked the door open.

But don’t worry, I at least had the decency to thank him for all of his help before the door closed.

So as you finish your coffee and go on with your day, I’ll sum this all up with simply saying that reason number 47 of why I do CrossFit is so that when my decaffeinated arms are full to the brim with 5 gallons of coffee that I can’t drink yet,  I don’t need any green-juice-sipping-hipsters help to open the door.

I open my own doors.